This week....ggrrrrr treadmill!

Ok, I admit defeat. I need to use my treadmill.

Well, yes I know, what is the use of having one if you don't use it. Sadly since Tia I loath it. It speaks confinement every time I look at it. "YOU are stuck inside" it screams as I eye it off when I walk pass. When I'm running my heart out on it, its like going no where and not very fast. I hide the time and distance under a towel and focus on the song or thought going through my head. Pound, pound, pound on the spot.

"Haha only 500 metres!" it laughs as I pull back the towel for a peek!

I want to run outside with the sun and wind. Or like yesterday with a soft misty rain sweeping my face keeping me cool and making me feel alive.

But to achieve my dream of running the City to Surf with my boy Jens I will have to put in some time on the mill.

I must conquer this resentment of confinement. I can't sit in my little office room with the door closed without getting up and opening it. My bedroom feels tight and cramped (probably because it is). I don't like being penned up anymore. Simple as that.

Ok so this week- 2 runs and 1 chiro appointment. The Chiro counts as he gives me a massage and helps me to be able to move!

Quote of the week- Forrest Gump

Jenny: Run Forrest Run!

Forrest starts running and breaks free of his leg braces.

Forrest: Now you wouldn't believe it if I told you. I could run like the wind blows. From that day on if I was going somewhere I was Running!

What am I concerned about-

1.Yet another week has passed with no work on my book.
2.My good friend who used to sit through the torture of swimming lessons with me has been replaced by Gravity Guy.
3.My daughter who loves dance lessons didn't attend this week as punishment and she didn't really care. So what's the point of that!?

Time to break free and be running,

Cathryn

Forgot My Quote for the Week

I think a little Louise Hay via Miranda Kerr is in order for the week. Spirituality mixed with high fashion who ever would've thought!

I am grateful for each day- Louise L Hay

I am grateful for who I am and who I am not
I am grateful for the life I have been given and for all that I have and for all that I don't. Every breath I take is a blessing and an opportunity to fully experience the sheer joy of being alive- Miranda Kerr on gratitude

My photo is of Miss 5 enjoy the beach on a beautiful summers day. She is so absorbed in the moment. So grateful to have captured a moment like that.

Happy Days :)

This Week.....ended with Gratitude

WoW....where have the last two weeks gone??

Recap- two weeks ago I was here on the farm with 4 kids awaiting the return of hubby from his and son no.3's trip to the States. On cue, my stoic grandma passes away the day he returns home. Here's my tribute. A beautiful lady with the grand age of nearly 94. Two days of madness with hand over of our business to dear hubby and a lot of packing and we're off for the weekend where I am left at my parents so I can attend her funeral while hubby and kids return home to attend school.

With a deep breath and I find myself in front of 100 people sobbing trying to exhale the bible readings. Unfortunately I am on the order of service directly after the tribute so tears are on mass! At one point I decide to surrender to the crying as holding back the tears is merely making the words a jumbled mess. So the congregation watches as I regain composure by letting it out, simply crying because I'm crying. Followed by sucking it up and doing a reasonable job of the second half.

Upon returning home I'm exhausted mess from dealing with all sorts of family matters and have to jump right back in and get on with my life.

So the last two weeks- 2 runs, 2 short stretching sessions. That's it! And somewhere in there I managed three uninterrupted hours on my book.....sigh.

What am I concerned about-

1. My iPhone died and I miss it.
2. My eyes are still twitching after two good sleeps.
3. I'm so far behind in my housework and washing it's ridiculous.
4. There's only 3 weeks of school left for this term.
5. Someone will make the mistake of asking me to do the bible reading at a funeral again.

As I look at my concerns I realise I really don't have any. As the news unfolds in front of me for the third night in a row showing mass devastation and destruction in Japan. My life is pretty bloody good!

Thanks and gratitude xo

Cathy

PS No photo as my phone has recently departed this planet....sigh.

This week

Saturday is officially my check in day.

This week I managed 1 run, 1 yoga session, and 1 bike ride. Not setting the world on fire but all equates to better than nothing!

Our business is fairly busy and keeping me on my toes. I'm nearly finished a 3 week stint without hubby and to be truthfully it is all starting to do my head in.

The kids are tired and all a bit off colour. The first weeks of the school year are taking a toll. We're going to lay low for the weekend.

My dreams are in the corner waiting.I did manage to pick up a book at the shops this week. Who Would You Be Without Your Story by Byron Katie. Interesting reading though in parts its a struggle.

Quote of the Week:

The Mad Hatter to Alice (Alice in Wonderland 2009)

"You are not the same as you were before. Before you were much more........muchier! You seem to have have lost your muchness.......in here (pointing at her heart)"

What am I concern about?

1. That I'm on the computer on Facebook and checking Facebook on my phone at the same time!

2.It's not quite 5pm and I'm sipping a G&T!

3.I found myself buying my undies in Woolies again as I'm running after my 5 so much I don't have time to go shopping in a decent store!

So that's me. How was your week?

Holding onto muchness,

:) Cathryn

The Truth is.....I'm not Wonderful

People say it to me! 'You're so wonderful. You look after all those kids, your husband and have those cottages!' Sigh...

I'm not wonderful. I'm a Mum, a wife and business owner. I set about doing what I need to do to keep it all happening. And sometimes doing all that does not make me feel wonderful. It makes me tired-ask my husband- and sometimes it all makes me feel like I've been swallowed up and the real me has been lost. This is not a wonderful feeling.


I am not the only mum walking this earth feeling this way. You may have 1,2,3,4,5 or 8 or 10 or 12 14 16 19 kids (19 is the most I have heard of or are the Duggars up to 20. I've lost count) kids. And doing it all is sometimes a soulless task. Shimmer and you've disappeared.

For those who don't know my story. My other blog Bless-ed Baby is about having my fifth child and the sidetrip it took me on. I'm writing my memoirs about the year my Bless-ed fifth child was born. Part of my story is realising that I'd not been true to myself. In my life of having a husband and children I'd forgotten who I was.

Nearly three years on I'm realising I've not lived up to the promises I'd made to myself. I started off well but again I've let it all slide. So I've set up this blog to be my marker of self.

Not only am going to run with my kids, husband and everyday life. I'm going to run for me and chase my dreams.

;)Cathryn

PS Thank you if you have read this and have ever said I'm wonderful.I do appreciate the fact that sometimes others notice all that you do. There are so many mums out there who I think are wonderful too <3

PSS Photo is of my 5 and my hubby.

Welcome to my other Blog!

It's Tuesday. It's been a week since I went for a run. I got up that morning and organised myself- answered 4 emails and got 3 kids ready for school and 1 kid for preschool. I dressed myself for a run then dropped them off at their respective schools. Then I headed out for my run!

Well, at first I was only walking as I'm easing myself back into it. But as I warmed up I did some interval running. Short bursts of running with quick paced walks. The sky was overcast and misty. For February it wasn't hot. In fact it was perfect for being outdoors.

I headed out of our sleepy little village and a couple of k's out I turned to head back and the mist turned to a fine refreshing rain. I ran about a kilometre with the misty rain wetting my face. I ran. I ran without a care or a business or a kid in the world.I ran and I was me. Nature lapping at my face with misty rain, my body moving the best it had in months (another story in itself) and the freedom of moving with blood flowiing and pumping taking everything away for awhile.

I stopped and heaved for breath. Yes, I have a long way to go. But gee, it felt good.

Back home I answered more emails, made phone calls, went to town to appointments, came home started dinner in the slow cooker, picked up kids from school, took my daughter her dance lesson, came home did some more things for dinner, went back out and picked up son from his friends, came home finished dinner then took son to Cubs, came home bathed kids, went out again picked up son from Cubs, came home and put them all to bed. Then sat and wondered which part of my day was the run!

I haven't stopped running since last week. Today I went for a run. I ran like an old woman!

This is my journal of me trying to run, finding time for me and running after my 5 kids and my life!